is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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