so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
