just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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