so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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