put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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