I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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