whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
