you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
