Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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