Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
