writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
