remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
