I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
