Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
