your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
