Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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