Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
