awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
