you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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