my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
