there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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