I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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