a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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