i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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