Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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