Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
