i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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