Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
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Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
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i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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