Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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