Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
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he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
where are my eyebrows?
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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