i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
