Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
