i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
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Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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