it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
