I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
