So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
why is half of my head shaved?
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize