Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
