You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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