Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
