did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
