when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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