Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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