Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
