I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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