we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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