How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize