WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
