make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize