So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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