just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
