i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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