yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
