I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
