the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
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