Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize