so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
