in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
