Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Oh god it's open bar.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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