just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
