I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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