On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
