You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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