I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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