my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
