Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
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I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
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