Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
It was confusing and full of hummus
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
